Let's get religious here, and then shuffle our way back to the humor column.
Christmas is about giving - unless you're a kid. Then it's usually about receiving. But I can tell you for a fact that I received a gift right around Thanksgiving, and it was from none other than the good Lord above.
When you are driving your mini-van down Route 22 in Hollidaysburg and your brakes give out and you have your feet almost down through the floorboard trying to stop the car so that it won't crash, and you don't crash, well, you feel blessed.
That's what happened to me, and I survived.
Of course, the van wound up needing repaired at over $200. My wife tried to cheer me up by telling me that I should be happy that I am alive. I hate it when she tries to make me feel better with reason. I want to wallow in the misery of the situation. It was how I was raised.
I told her God saved my life because he knew I couldn't afford to die!
I was kind of disappointed that my life didn't flash before my eyes, though, since that is what you always hear happens to people who think they are about to make reservations for that big hotel in the sky.
I've had the past month to reflect on what I wanted to see flash before my eyes. Here is what I didn't see (or hear):
But that's not how my mind works. You know what went through my mind - our savings account, checking account and how much money this is going to cost us right before we start our Christmas shopping. But I guess I should be gratetful, and thankful that I am alive to write this column for you this holiday season.
Oh, by the way, did I mention my wife hit a deer on Dec. 11 with our mini-van? Ho! Ho! Humbug!
Scott Franco is a member of the Altoona Mirror sports staff, a husband and a father of four. His column appears monthly. He can be reached at 946-7528 or sfranco@ altoonamirror.com.
